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Things Which Will Never be the Same


Eight years ago today, my wife and I were dealt a blow that no parent should ever experience. It’s been 96 months experiencing an emotion that has plagued us, gripped us, wounded us (both physically and emotionally) and robbed us. This emotion is known as grief. Thank God, there is One who suffered a grief incomprehensible to finite human beings to help us in our healing process. He understands what we go through in our most severe trials in life. Though the searing poignant pain of those early months (even the first year or two) is not as it was, there still is a numbing sense, an emotional scarring in the gray matter, which will remain with us until we see her again on that glorious resurrection morn.

There are things which will never be the same, even after 416 weeks.  Here is a list of some ‘things’ which, even to this day send a negative neural impulse from the amygdala in the brain, when we experience them. [The amygdala is that almond shaped organ in the brain where all our emotions are stored, back to the womb.]

  • Listening or seeing a private airplane flying above—never the same.

  • Spotting the same vehicle (make and model) she drove—never the same.

  • Thanksgiving holiday—never the same.

  • Going to some stores/places of business we’d visit together—never the same.

  • Listening to violin music—never the same.

  • Watching scuba divers on a video—never the same.

  • Perusing through Brianna’s possessions--this one is probably the hardest.


Only those who have lost a loved one, especially a child knows what I’m talking about. As I stated in earlier blogs, it is an ‘unwelcome privilege’ to go through this trial, but there is hope. Hope which will give birth to a living reality one day, not to mention the joy of talking about our experience with others and the impact our daughter is making in her death.


Yes, that is good news. The things of this life are just temporal. As we see another year passing and though memories of the last eight years are with us, we have the good memories of raising her for more than 19 years. We are thankful our daughter has not endured what we went through in the Campfire, or the lockdowns and societal pressures experienced under Covid, or even the wickedness accruing in our world. The Lord preserved her in the dust of the earth for a glorious awakening someday soon.


The number ‘8’ means ‘new life.’ And one day soon, she and all the saints will receive that life eternal, when the Life Giver will call her forth from her dusty grave into the life which measures with the life of God. It is our desire and prayer that now more than 2900 days later, you too will come to know that Life Giver who laid down His life that we might have life. Trust Him, for your life will never be the same.

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