60  Months -A Drop in the Bucket

December 19, five years ago was the worst day of our lives. How does one quantify pain from a grief-stricken heart?  When we look intently at a picture of our daughter or spend a little time on our website, listening, watching, reading, this grief is palpable as though the tragedy happened just the other day. But what about God, He has had to endure not 60 months, but 6000 years! What an unwelcome privilege we can enter into a miniscule part of His sufferings.

Each year since that tragic day, has brought  new challenges and trials, but we never welcome this time of the year. This December was unlike any before. Last year, we were experiencing the worst disaster in CA history—the Paradise Campfire.  It was a horrific tragedy that decimated communities, not just one town by several surrounding  communities. Tens of thousands were misplaced in transitional housing for weeks, nay  months, us included.  Both Mary and I got sick as did many others. It was a very difficult December.   But that was just the beginning                                            of a year long health crisis for my wife, culminating in an epic health crisis this month for her. After losing                                               25 pounds since the fire, she gained about six back over the last few months, but lost that gain in four days                                                 due to the health crisis of last week. Not being able to keep food  down, she became weaker with each passing                                               day until I had to rush into the ER over the weekend. And the    physical pain, she stated herself was equal to                                                or greater than the labor pains she had with Brianna. As a husband and father, I began to wonder.

But praise God last night, on the eve of our 60 months since we lost our precious daughter, she began to turn the corner. An SOS call went out around 9 pm, due to an acute attack on her back. She cried out to the Lord, “I can’t take this anymore.” Much prayer went up, she made it through the night and by morning, I could tell, God had heard our prayers. Yes, though she is still very weak and bedridden mostly, she had a spark in her eyes, looked refreshed and I knew the 19th of December was the turn around day. She has not had to take any pain meds today, not even Tylenol, thank you Jesus, the Great Physician!

Amidst this crisis, we received thoughtful, prayerful messages on social media, especially in regard to our loss 60 months ago.  Two struck us and caused the tears to overflow their boundaries. One came in from TN, a lady Brianna had worked for when we lived there back in 2010-12. Here is what she said,  “Think of you and Rod today, Mary.  Thinking about Brianna.  Thinking of her infectious enthusiasm, her silky dark hair, her award winning smile that often showed her amusement of the world around her. From Glory to Glory, she shares her story. God bless you everyday, but especially this one.”  The other was a childhood friend of Brianna’s who wrote these words, “I miss her. Praying for healing for the family Mr. Cassidy. Love you both. God is nearer to you guys than ever.” Yes, we do miss her so much! 😢

It makes a big difference to have a support network—family, friends—those we can depend on in a crisis to come through for us.  To each and everyone of you thank you from the bottom of our hearts in being with us through this hard journey.  The good news, we are now one year closer to that grand reunion party, that will never end.  What a day that will be!

This is why it is so important to come out of one’s comfort zone and reach out to those who have experienced great loss.  We implore you to reach out and bless others experiencing grief,  Please also keep us in your prayers re. Mary’s continued health challenges.

It is our prayer, that all who read this blog, will do everything in their power to make sure they receive that all-important Gift and retain it as precious which will give them entrance into that glorious Kingdom. Then the pain in God’s heart will be finished. Heaven is cheap enough!