top of page

 For Those Who Hurt


Someone sent a blog link to Mary’s FB page on Mother’s Day, with the intent to bring some comfort. The thought was appreciated.  The author, a father of two and married, shared some concepts which caused me to wonder, “how can this author speak on this subject, if he hasn’t himself experienced the loss of a child?” {He didn’t indicate that he had experienced a deep loss, which made me wonder.} Well, at least he expressed himself as ‘feeling’ our loss. A couple phrases, I’d like to repeat here from his blog:


“It might come with choking regret for a relationship that has been horribly severed.”


“This day might bring with it the scalding sting of grief for the empty chair around a table.”


Though the former phrase was one we are thankful not to have experienced with our daughter, yet, we know that there are those who have experienced a relationship gone terribly sour. Brianna had a relative that she had experienced abandonment issues from. Now that person has to live with this reality—a horribly severed relationship that she cannot fix until the Kingdom. {One would think that as an incentive to ‘fix’ other broken relationships as a result. We are praying for that to happen.}


It is not just Mother’s Day we experienced what these phrases convey, but in a very stark and tearful reality also on Brianna’s birthday.  But I must say that it was different on her birthday. We decided to watch our memorial service again and suggested to Mary we do it in the afternoon. We stayed home from church today—just to be alone.


Watching it again after a few months since we did before, has been quite therapeutic.  The first half was certainly painful and it was natural to have our eyes continual filling up to running over.  But by the time the speakers started, after hearing all those who spoke how much Brianna touched their lives, it was very encouraging. We are so thankful we had it video tapped, enabling us to recall again and again the impact her life made on others for the Kingdom. God certainly knows what He is doing and it will all work out for our good and His glory one day.


God is in the business to heal and restore us, even in the midst of pain and suffering.  It is truly needful for our restoration. As the months roll by, we have a greater longing for heaven.  We also have a greater longing to share our story with others, to be a blessing to them and to hasten the Lord’s coming.


The inhabitants of the earth are facing a crisis the likes of which humanity has never faced since time began.  Daniel 12:1 tells us that a time of trouble is coming such as never was, but at that time Michael (another name for Christ) will stand up for His people and all will be delivered everyone who is found written in the book.  Many parents are soon to lose their children in death. God will lay them to sleep mercifully, so they don’t have to endure the great horrors of the final crisis. We are grateful in this respect, our daughter has been spared already.


Should this not be reason enough for all who see the signs approaching to “seek the Lord while He may be found and to call upon Him, while He is near”? (Isaiah 55:6)


We are also glad that we have a website others can go to in the coming months to find comfort and encouragement when their time will arrive to experience loss. We also praise God that it won’t be long.  We should thus be making the needful preparation, by living lives of repentance and faith in our great High Priest, trusting Him to cleanse the soul temple.  This is the work of His Spirit in our lives as Christ is finishing His great work of atonement in the heavenly sanctuary.


Soon our sorrow will turn into Everlasting Joy. Until next time, look for opportunities to bless others. Keep looking up for that glorious day will soon come.

The month of May has now become the worst month of the year for us.  There are three painful events for us this month: 1) Mother’s Day, now behind us.  2) Brianna’s birthday, the 16th , just finished and 3) Mary’s birthday, the 23rd.

It has been more than 20 years, since Mary and I have passed Mother’s Day, with no real fanfare. But the last 20 years, have been special around Mother’s day. This year has been the first year we did not looked forward to it. Now as childless parents, the loss is felt very acutely—a stinging, bitter emotion indeed, and in more ways than one. It could be stated that, even more than grief due to the loss, I experienced torment (to be discussed in a future blog).

bottom of page