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This date is forever sealed in our consciousness. Never can we go back and never can we escape the reality of that tragic day when we lost our only daughter, our only child. This is a parent’s nightmare, from which you never wake up. But unlike some we have meet since our loss, we have a hope that the separation is only temporary and that makes a world of difference.
A week ago, Mary and I did our first blog together entitled, “8 Things We Have Learned in the Loss of Our Daughter”. One of these eight things dealt with what not to say to grieving parents. One of those things is insensitive statements such as, “Are you over it yet?” as though you had lost a valuable book or had dropped a neighbor’s vase while visiting or something along these lines—something material or replaceable. Though a statement of this sorts may sound incredibly offensive I’ve wondered about how a person like this would handle the loss of a child? Or could they? It is not just a statement of insensitivity, it reveals a ‘superficial’ character, typically of one who has themselves been damaged and runs away from emotional pain or one who has never themselves experienced such depth of grief. They are not capable of entering into and cannot fathom emotional loss of this magnitude. Though my wife and I have expressed the human response to such a statement by stating “you feel like taking a 2x4 to the side of their head”, yet truly after thinking about it, I truly feel sorry for such an individual. At times, I wish they would go through what we have. Thank God He is so merciful with us in our humanness.
Brianna’s life ended after just 19 years, seven months and three days. Why God, why? I’ve thought about this over the last twelve months and wondered how many millions, if not hundreds of millions of people down through the ages who also have lost loved ones prematurely have also asked that question? Nay, have even turned their back on God and walked away never to return? You know, God really takes a risk when he permits tragedy to come into a person’s life like this? Yes, He knows the outcome of the response of those “left behind”; but remember, the rain falls on the just and unjust alike. God cannot be a respecter of persons. Tragedy must occur to ‘good people’ and bad alike.
As an accountant, I’ve also wondered why triple 19s? She died the 19th of the month, the 19th hour of the day or her 19th year. Summed total comes to 57. What’s with the numbers? We are not the first to experience strange sequence of numbers or dates. Others who also have lost children we know, have their own tale of numbers. This seems to shed light on something paranormal. It can’t just be ‘coincidental’, can it? No, to me it sheds light on the great cosmic struggle over the character of He who is the Wonderful Numberer (Daniel 8:13).
Until next time, trust Him who numbers the hair of our heads. He has our best interest in mind, all the time. Thank you Lord.